I'm one of those people for whom every day is so different... I'm a very passionate but ambivalent person, and some mornings I wake up with entirely new dreams. I'm also 25, with nothing to show for my life yet except a lot of unfinished writing about the karyûkai lol, all mostly stuff to satisfy my personal curiosity. I'm at a point in my "research," as I call it, where I feel like writing and photos don't bring me any closer to actually experiencing their Art and culture, which is why I took the plunge and bought myself a shamisen and started to study dance.
I've been keeping in contact with other (Japanese) "aspiring geigi" and it's nice to have that support. Obviously nothing is set in stone. I have to improve my Japanese and save money, and sort out my life along the way lol. Kimichô was 25 when she went to Japan, and Ibu and Fukutarô are both at least over 30, so I'm not worried about my age so much as being taken seriously and becoming a respected artist. I haven't told anyone in my personal life about my dream, and I don't want to jinx anything or be all talk and then give it up
plus deep down I'm afraid I'll be unhappy no matter what in life, so the idea of leaving for a completely foreign life makes me anxious... But as one of my greatest heroes, Søren Kierkegaard, said, "Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom..."