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 Post subject: Hotaru no Odori
PostPosted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 1:34 pm 
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Minarai
Minarai
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Joined: Fri Sep 18, 2009 3:09 pm
Posts: 185
Location: Burorotsu no Hanamachi
Favorite Geiko: Miehina Miharu
Favorite Maiko: Katsuru Toshikana
I've been thinking of writing my own novel since as Fuyou said there aren't alot good books about the Karyukai and now I started thinking of it quite seriously.

I want to name my novel " Hotaru no Odori " it means Firefly Dance ( I hope the kanji are right ). I've chosen this name because of their short and fragile life and dance is an essential part of geiko and maiko.
I want to take action somewhere in Kyoto and decided to call the hanamachi Ko-Ayame ( small iris ). I'm thinking of placing my hanamachi in Matsubara-dori and end it at Matsubara-bashi. It is an actual place and my hanamachi would be near Miyagawa-cho which would allow some group events and so on. My other location is on the other side of Ponto-cho starting at Furumonzen-dori and ending at Kacho-dori.
Another thing I'm still thinking of is to what readers I'm writing : the geisha lovers or the simple people.
I've thought of the plot and I decided that the main action will take place at three diffrent okiya : Ko Hikari ( little light ), Hotaru ( firefly ) and Hanachie ( flowers blesssed with wisdom ). The story is about three girls in diffrent okiya, their lives and struggles. I want to show everything we see in documentaries and place it in one place this way it will be fun for the lovers and teaching for the new readers. I've also developed some of the characters:

Hanachie okiya:
Hanako ( little flower ) - okaa-san of Hanachie. She is about 70 years. An old, cute lady. She very much reminds of a sweet grandma ,though behind the cute face a great mind is hidden. She takes good care of her girls and okiya. She was called little flower because of her shortness and young age when she joined the okiya. She is also very famous in the hanamachi because she became fully fledged geiko when she was 17. Her older sister was the previous okaa-san - geiko Hanachō.
Mamechie ( bean blessed with wisdom ) - the most senior geiko in the okiya. She is an accredited natori geiko and the atotori of the okiya. Mamechie is an opposite of Hanako. Even though she is 60 years old she looks much younger and also sounds like that. She is an interesting person for a good conversation, fun to play with and pretty for the eye.
Kikuchie ( chrysanthemum blessed with wisdom ) - younger sister of Mamechie. She is a geiko who recently had her erikae. I'm still developing her.
More characters to come for this okiya.
*Mamechie joined the okiya when she was 16, Hanako was 26. She was geiko since 17 she already was a senior geiko and also one of the most well known geiko in whole hanamachi. Mamechie always looked up to her and they were good friends ,though Mamechie always felt like she's under the shadow of Hanako. Even after Hanako took over the okiya when she was 29 and Mamechie had plenty of space after it she still couldn't escape that feeling. After Hanako passes Mamechie takes over so one of the story parts will be how she's coping and finally after so many years steps out of the shadow.

Shou Hikari okiya:
I'm still developing the characters but the main one will be a jikata. Her real name was Tsuki ( moon ).Origanlly she was supposed to be a maiko and it took a long time until she and okaa-san of Ko Hikari agreed that she can be maiko even though she was almost 19. But when she started attending geiko school she developed a passion for the Fue and Shamisen so she asked okaa-san to let her be a jikata. Her okaa-san was very mad and dissapointed with her decision but she couldn't ignore her talent so she agreed but named her Fuanna. It means uneasy and quite reflects Tsukis personality.

Hotaru okiya:
I'm also still developing the characters here but the main will be Kaze ( it means wind and this is her real name ). She is the only member of Hotaru okiya except for okaa-san and baba-san. A new shikomi who feels pretty lonely because she doesn't have any close friends and knows only some girls in the hanamachi. So I will be telling how she grew from shikomi to geiko and beyond ,comming out of her shell and fully blooming in many ways.

That's all now please share comments,tips and so on! :thanks:

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Last edited by Ichihana on Fri Oct 01, 2010 11:10 am, edited 2 times in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Hotaru no Dansu
PostPosted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 3:24 pm 
Well, I like our idea and what you have already written. Good idea to separate our story between three okiya : then it allows you to diversify your characters with very different personality, stories, and relationship between them and each okiya with its own atmosphere.
I suppose that characters of different okiya are going to meet for formal events or ozashiki, did you think of that ?

I will read it with pleasure :) .


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 Post subject: Re: Hotaru no Dansu
PostPosted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 3:36 pm 
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Geiko
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Joined: Tue Mar 03, 2009 9:12 pm
Posts: 1450
Location: Japan
Favorite Geiko: Kofuku Ichiteru
Favorite Maiko: Katsune
Sounds good.


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 Post subject: Re: Hotaru no Dansu
PostPosted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 4:55 pm 
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Minarai
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Joined: Fri Sep 18, 2009 3:09 pm
Posts: 185
Location: Burorotsu no Hanamachi
Favorite Geiko: Miehina Miharu
Favorite Maiko: Katsuru Toshikana
stéfan2009 wrote:
Well, I like our idea and what you have already written. Good idea to separate our story between three okiya : then it allows you to diversify your characters with very different personality, stories, and relationship between them and each okiya with its own atmosphere.
I suppose that characters of different okiya are going to meet for formal events or ozashiki, did you think of that ?

I will read it with pleasure :) .


Yes since Mamechie reached such a high level in dance Kaze will look up to her a lot, Tsuki will have the opportunity to accompany her when she dances ,though not a lot because Mamechie will take over Hanachie pretty soon. Kaze and Tsuki will run into each other quite often.
And of course the three wont be the only okiya but I want to keep a low number of other characters so that it wont get confusing.


Any thoughts of the location? Which place would you choose?

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 Post subject: Re: Hotaru no Dansu
PostPosted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 5:39 pm 
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Minarai
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Joined: Fri Sep 18, 2009 3:09 pm
Posts: 185
Location: Burorotsu no Hanamachi
Favorite Geiko: Miehina Miharu
Favorite Maiko: Katsuru Toshikana
Ok so I finished developing Kikuchie.

Kikuchie - as mentioned before is a freshly debuted geiko and the imouto of Mamechie who she trusts and wants to follow her footsteps and become natori aswell ,though she fears she will be chosen as the next atotori and that is something she doesn't want because she doesn't want to have such a big responsibility and would rather open an ochaya of her own than take over Hanachie. She never spoke about it with Mamechie and she swore to herself that if Mamechie picks her she wont disagree and when her turn comes she would pick someone else. Kikuchie has a round face with high cheekbones and small but full lips. She looks rather childish as a geiko and is often nicknamed Kikuko - small chrysanthemum - she hates that nickname.

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 Post subject: Re: Hotaru no Dansu
PostPosted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 6:56 pm 
We can feel that you have already worked on the big lines of your story ; for the place I don't have a favourite sorry ^^".
Do you think that geiko & maiko of "your hanamachi" would meet maiko & geiko from another one or is the story only takes place in yours ?


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 Post subject: Re: Hotaru no Dansu
PostPosted: Fri Oct 01, 2010 3:50 am 
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Minarai
Minarai

Joined: Sat Jul 24, 2010 5:50 am
Posts: 117
Favorite Geiko: MG KTsuru GK Mchiho
Favorite Maiko: GK Ayano Kyouka
First of all, I like how you plotted your story. Gambatte! I'm quite excited for the final work even if it still is in the works.

Just a few things though:

Ichihana wrote:
I want to name my novel " Hotaru no Dansu - 蛍 踊る " it means Firefly Dance ( I hope the kanji are right ).

The proper Japanese for your title would probably be 蛍の踊 or 蛍の踊り rather than 蛍踊る which is read as "hotaru odoru". I think the first one would be better as you can force 踊 with a furigana of ダンス. I'm not sure if you're familiar with the manga/anime/live action drama/movie Hana Yori Dango, but that is one great example of forcing a reading with furigana. The saying "hana yori dango" (花より団子) or dango (kind of Japanese sweets) over flowers means practicality before aesthetics. The manga name is (花より男子) where 男子 is read as "dango" instead of the normal "danshi" because of the furigana by its side.

From your English title, "Firefly Dance" I'm assuming that you're taking the word "dance" as a noun, not a verb, hence "odori" would be appropriate. If you are taking it as a verb however, then it would be "odoru" (to dance). I've also noticed that you missed out the "no" (の) in the title.

Ichihana wrote:
I want to take action somewhere in Kyoto and decided to call the hanamachi Airisu-ko ( small iris ).

I highly doubt any hanamachi would be named with an English name so I took the liberty of translating it into Japanese: 小菖蒲 (ko-ayame)

Ichihana wrote:
I've thought of the plot and I decided that the main action will take place at three diffrent okiya : Ko Hikari ( little light ), Hotaru ( firefly ) and Hanachie ( flowers blesssed with wisdom ).

Kanji stuff:
小光 would be read as "shou hikari" instead of ko hikari. Still means the same XD
蛍 - hotaru but you know that already
花知恵 - hanachie. individually, the 2nd kanji, chi, means wisdom, the 3rd kanji, e, means favor or blessing or kindness

I hope that helps!


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 Post subject: Re: Hotaru no Dansu
PostPosted: Fri Oct 01, 2010 10:49 am 
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Minarai
Minarai
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Joined: Fri Sep 18, 2009 3:09 pm
Posts: 185
Location: Burorotsu no Hanamachi
Favorite Geiko: Miehina Miharu
Favorite Maiko: Katsuru Toshikana
ladyhendrix wrote:
First of all, I like how you plotted your story. Gambatte! I'm quite excited for the final work even if it still is in the works.

Just a few things though:

Ichihana wrote:
I want to name my novel " Hotaru no Dansu - 蛍 踊る " it means Firefly Dance ( I hope the kanji are right ).

The proper Japanese for your title would probably be 蛍の踊 or 蛍の踊り rather than 蛍踊る which is read as "hotaru odoru". I think the first one would be better as you can force 踊 with a furigana of ダンス. I'm not sure if you're familiar with the manga/anime/live action drama/movie Hana Yori Dango, but that is one great example of forcing a reading with furigana. The saying "hana yori dango" (花より団子) or dango (kind of Japanese sweets) over flowers means practicality before aesthetics. The manga name is (花より男子) where 男子 is read as "dango" instead of the normal "danshi" because of the furigana by its side.

From your English title, "Firefly Dance" I'm assuming that you're taking the word "dance" as a noun, not a verb, hence "odori" would be appropriate. If you are taking it as a verb however, then it would be "odoru" (to dance). I've also noticed that you missed out the "no" (の) in the title.

Ichihana wrote:
I want to take action somewhere in Kyoto and decided to call the hanamachi Airisu-ko ( small iris ).

I highly doubt any hanamachi would be named with an English name so I took the liberty of translating it into Japanese: 小菖蒲 (ko-ayame)

Ichihana wrote:
I've thought of the plot and I decided that the main action will take place at three diffrent okiya : Ko Hikari ( little light ), Hotaru ( firefly ) and Hanachie ( flowers blesssed with wisdom ).

Kanji stuff:
小光 would be read as "shou hikari" instead of ko hikari. Still means the same XD
蛍 - hotaru but you know that already
花知恵 - hanachie. individually, the 2nd kanji, chi, means wisdom, the 3rd kanji, e, means favor or blessing or kindness

I hope that helps!


Thank you very much! You've helped me alot!

stéfan2009 wrote:
We can feel that you have already worked on the big lines of your story ; for the place I don't have a favourite sorry ^^".
Do you think that geiko & maiko of "your hanamachi" would meet maiko & geiko from another one or is the story only takes place in yours ?

Yes that exactly is my plan. I was even thinking of using actual names and okiya but I can't decide where do I want to be - near Ponto-cho or Miyagawa-cho

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 Post subject: Re: Hotaru no Odori
PostPosted: Sun Oct 10, 2010 11:48 pm 
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First Year Maiko
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Posts: 302
Location: somewhere on Earth
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hum...how about a kimono artist as a character :3? that would be new! i have never seen someone mention them in karyukai novels etc :3!

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