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 Post subject: Brainstorming Thread- Novel and Comic Ideas Welcome!
PostPosted: Sat Nov 22, 2008 6:09 am 
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Senior Maiko
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Joined: Fri Jun 27, 2008 1:17 pm
Posts: 817
Location: Florida
Favorite Geiko: Mayuha and Kimika
Favorite Maiko: Fukusuzu
As stated in another thread, because of the the general displeasure with all of the novels in English that have been written about the Karyukai, there are many of us who wish to start writing our own works. This is the thread where we can bounce off ideas at each other and once the work gets started, become reviewers and proofreaders. It doesn't have to be restricted to novels, either, and manga, doujinshi, and anything else is also welcomed.


EDIT- Here is the link to the most up-to-date revision of Chapters 1 and 2 of my novel.

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Last edited by Fuyouhime on Wed May 13, 2009 3:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Nov 22, 2008 6:42 am 
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Senior Maiko
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Location: Florida
Favorite Geiko: Mayuha and Kimika
Favorite Maiko: Fukusuzu
I have two basic ideas I'm working on, one for a novel and one for a manga.

In the novel, it would take place in two time periods and switch between the two on different chapters. One time period would be right before and during WWII, and the other would be around the seventies. The connection between the two times would be that the main characters in the first time period become the Okaasan/Okamisan of the next time period.

In the earlier time period, there are two main characters that are focused on in two different okiya. In one of the okiya, a girl is 'sold' to the okiya from a good family that went into debt, but she doesn't have the fitting in problems that Sayuri had. She's not a slave, and her family had been benefactors of the okiya for years. Her Okaasan actually likes her, as does the oneesan. The only one who doesn't like her is the Okaasan's daughter, because Okaasan's daughter generally dislikes anyone who shows her up. She keeps doing nasty things to main character, and keeps saying that when she takes over, she'll kick main character out. So, main character's struggle in life is to find a way to be independently funded before that happens, basically via a Danna. She develops a deep relationship with a potential danna, but when WWII hits, he can't protect her (because he's lame), and she ends up getting stuck in factory work while Okaasan's daughter goes missing. Their reunion takes place during a bombing in which main character discovers that Okaasan's daughter had been prostituting herself, which main character finds unforgivable. It's all a moot point though because Okaasan's daughter dies in the bombing, and Main character ends up taking up the okiya once it's reopened, although because of fires, it's never as spectactular as it once was.

The other character in this time period hasn't been developed nearly as much, but I was thinking of making her either an atatori or the second daughter of an Okaasan. The second daughter idea sounds more promising, as it gives room for development. All I really know about her is that she would end up becoming an Okamisan.

In the second time period, the first main character would be a girl who chooses to enter the karyukai when she's twenty to become a geiko, bypassing the maiko stage because her parents never let her join. She's incredibly smart and always got top grades, so they said she had too promising a future to waste as a geiko. When in college though, she knew she couldn't keep going on with her life, because she didn't want to work in an office for the rest of her life, eventually leaving to raise kids in a house all day long. She had been dancing all of her life, and she wanted to dance for the rest of her life, so she goes to an okiya (the one run by the main character of the first time period), and she gets in. But, she has to deal with the heirarchy, and the fact that she was never a maiko is used against her. She preserveres, and she becomes the most popular geiko.

The second character is an atatori in another okiya who's struggling with the fact that she's not as talented as her mother, or the other maiko in the okiya. She's not as heavily developed either, but her struggle eventually ends up with her leaving the okiya and becoming the heir to the ochaya that the other main character in the first time period runs.

I want to use the two different time periods to highlight the differences between the two worlds, and the changes that went on between them. Obviously, mizuage would be the biggest difference that I would have to cover, and the most controversial. I believe that in the earlier time period, the sexual aspect wasn't about money in the higher okiya, and that more often a well respected and liked patron was asked to do the honors instead of their being a bidding war. Those chapters would definitely need a lot of beta reading.


In the manga idea, it all takes place in the present in three different okiya. One is a new okiya that struggling to make its way into the big leagues (they would be a -kayo line [kayo meaning 'beautiful world'], with the three maiko named Umekayo, Momokayo, and Kimikayo). Umekayo is the top of the okiya, and incredibly successful. She becomes the oneesan to Kimikayo, who's really tomboyish... The Okaasan (named Fubuki Mizuno) is really unusual, because she's only 31 (has a four year old daughter named Fubuki Rika) and was never a geiko. She was a managerial consultant who has always had her hand in the traditional world, taking shamisen and nihonbuyo classes ever since she was a little girl. Her parents didn't let her become a geiko, so now she' living her dream out as an Okaasan. Her lack of connections also causes the okiya to receive negative attention within the hanamachi.

The second okiya is an old okiya that can't draw in new girls. They have two aging geiko and one maiko, but it's not enough to really keep afloat (they're a -no line, with the geiko Tsuruno and Kikuno and the maiko Mayuno). They finally have a new girl interested, but she' not exactly ideal. She has a more western physique (in other words, big breasts, great hourglass, and long legs. I'm going to have fun drawing her :wink:) and she has a bit of an attitude. It'll be a struggle for her to fit in and ultimately get the okiya successful again.

In the the third okiya, it's a really big and successful okiya, and the interest is more on the relationships between the members of the okiya (it's a Mame- line, with the geiko Mameko, Mameno*, Mameyuu, Mameka*, Mameume*, and Mamesono and the maiko Mamehatsu, Mameyuri*, Mamehana, Mamekazu, and Mamemaru*, with the asterisks marking who will get more of a leading role). I'm actually thinking of having one or two of the relationships be yuri, because it's so hard to find tasteful yuri and I've been wanting to create some for a while... and two cute bunny maiko in love sounds sweet enough to give me a cavity.

This is the basic ground work I've come up with, and I'll be developing it from there.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Nov 22, 2008 5:10 pm 
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Sakkou
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Favorite Geiko: Kikuyuu
Favorite Maiko: Toshiteru
i like the idea of the tow time periods.. sounds very interesting to read. i also like the idea of the different okiya! :D

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 1:48 pm 
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First Year Maiko
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that´s good :D !

have you started to work in this project? :D

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Last edited by Sakamoto on Sat Dec 06, 2008 11:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 4:14 pm 
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Senior Maiko
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Joined: Fri Jun 27, 2008 1:17 pm
Posts: 817
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Favorite Geiko: Mayuha and Kimika
Favorite Maiko: Fukusuzu
I've been busy with projects, papers, and now exams are around the corner, but I have gotten farther... in that I've developed some names...

The family name of the Okaasan is Kobashi, with the kanji for little bridge. I decided in the novel, that the main character in the older timeline would be called Rikako, with the kanji for plum blossom and child. I'm probably going to make her last name Shin (I wanted something noble because her family is descended from Samurai), but if I think of something better, then that might change. The Okaasan's daughter will also be named Rikako (with the kanji for pear, though), which will be a source of jealousy for her. My main character is basically better (and the arrogant little thing knows it), and the Okaasan's daughter hates it. She feels as if she's getting replaced with a better version of herself. It also doesn't help that they look a tad alike...

Their geimyo line will be Ichi- with the kanji for city. The main character Rikako will be Ichitsuru, or city of cranes. I haven't thought up a proper name for the okiya, but I thought it would be cute to have its nickname be the "Ichiban" (ichiban means best) because they are also the top okiya in the hanamachi.

I've decided to make a fictional hanamachi. I just don't know enough about the individual customs of any one hanamachi to place it there. Besides, this way, I can have more control of the setting. I've decided to place it in a real part of Kyoto that's very close to Gion (about three city blocks over) called "Demachiyanagi" which means 'Willow Town'. I've been there once, and plan on going again to take detailed pictures, but I have a basic idea of the scope right now. My hanamachi will run along the river that cuts through Demachiyanagi the way Pontocho follows the Kamo River. It will end next to the Shinogamo Shrine, which is comparable in size and splendor to Yasaka Shrine (Gion's shrine). Demachiyanagi is obviously famous for it's willows, so the dancing style of the hanamachi there should have a willowy style to it. So, I'm thinking elegant hand dances and great usage of the sleeves... but if anyone has some ideas, I'd be much obliged.

I've also decided that, stylistically, my ficitonal hanamachi will be more in line with Pontocho and Miyagawa-Cho than Gion, with it's dancing style based on Kabuki as opposed to Noh, and maybe with a few different hairstyles as well.

For the future timeline, the girl that enters Rikako's okiya will have the name Shiroyama Rieko (last name meaning 'white mountain', first name containing the same kanji for plum blossoms in Rikako's name. So, if were to look at their first names written, it would be the same name). I've decided that she is going to be extremely beautiful, the sort of beauty you just can't turn away. That's why Rikako takes her in, because originally she was against the idea because it was so unconventional. Her geimyo will be Ichiume (I've decided that in the past timeline, the Okaasan wanted Shin Rikako's geimyo to be Ichiume, too, because the kanji for it is in her name, but it had an unlucky stroke number for her.)

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 11:55 pm 
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First Year Maiko
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hum...to make things easier and to avoid geisha expert´s cruel critics,have you thought about setting the story in an other world?

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Dec 07, 2008 6:37 am 
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Senior Maiko
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Favorite Geiko: Mayuha and Kimika
Favorite Maiko: Fukusuzu
I think that would take away from the idea. I want them to be Kyoto geiko.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Dec 07, 2008 11:52 am 
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First Year Maiko
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Fuyouhime wrote:
I think that would take away from the idea. I want them to be Kyoto geiko.


I just suggested that because i got traumatized with you know what =p.

If we think well,"commom peopl" don´t care very much about "hanamchi details",i just was worring about those ones who call themselves geisha expert and LOVE to ruin other people´s work :x

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 13, 2009 3:15 pm 
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Senior Maiko
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Joined: Fri Jun 27, 2008 1:17 pm
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Location: Florida
Favorite Geiko: Mayuha and Kimika
Favorite Maiko: Fukusuzu
Well, at long last I finally sat down and started working on my idea for my novel, and I have my chapter one draft written out and I was wondering if anyone cared to beta read it. I decided to cut out the two extra characters I had mentioned above, so that the story will focus only on Rikako and Rieko in their separate timelines. I've also changed a few names for other characters, but that's not major.

The biggest things I've done is think of a major symbol to use throughout the story and start thinking up titles. I've decided that the main symbol concerning the women will be the plum blossom, with the idea that it s a strong flower to withstand the cold winter, and it is a flower that grows more beautiful as it ages (plum blossoms bloom white but turn into a deep magenta hue as they age, so in poetry the color of a plum blossom is a hint at the specific time of winter). I think a tough winter flower that grows more beautiful with time is a good metaphor for a geiko, so I've tried to begin incorporating the symbol into the story... such as the main road of the hanamachi being filled with plum blossoms and called 'plum blossom road' (translated simply into 'Medo' Street), which is why I thought a good title would be "Down Plum Blossom Road", but I'm not sure if that's stupid or not (I've been told I make really dorky titles).

I'm always very nervous about first chapters because they're so important in capturing a person's attention and imagination, and I want to see if this is a good chapter for getting people interested. It also lays down the hanamachi I created, and I want to see if anyone thinks it seems like a realistic one.

I don't know of a good way of posting a chapter, though, because I don't really want the whole world looking through it, I just want knowledgable people critiquing it for me... anyone have any suggestions?

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 13, 2009 3:25 pm 
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Toshi No Miya
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Joined: Wed Jun 25, 2008 7:17 pm
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Location: Luxembourg
Favorite Geiko: Naokazu + Suzuko
Favorite Maiko: Tsuruha
as english is not my main language... i wouldn't right away propose myself as a beta reader... but if you want i could read it and tell you what i think of it?

Instead of posting the chapter in here, you just do a pdf version of your chapter, upload it with www.megaupload.com and give the link to the ones you ask to beta-read or agree on reading your chapter.

this is my suggestion.

edited to correct some mistakes XDDD

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Last edited by Ichisumi on Tue Apr 14, 2009 6:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Apr 14, 2009 5:49 pm 
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Senior Maiko
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Joined: Fri Jun 27, 2008 1:17 pm
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Favorite Geiko: Mayuha and Kimika
Favorite Maiko: Fukusuzu
Thanks for the suggestion :). I loaded it up onto megaload, so anyone who wants to beta read can ask and I'll send the link over.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 20, 2009 8:46 am 
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Senior Maiko
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Joined: Fri Jun 27, 2008 1:17 pm
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Location: Florida
Favorite Geiko: Mayuha and Kimika
Favorite Maiko: Fukusuzu
For anyone interested, here is the link to chapter one.

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Last edited by Fuyouhime on Mon May 11, 2009 1:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat May 02, 2009 4:10 pm 
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Senior Maiko
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Joined: Fri Jun 27, 2008 1:17 pm
Posts: 817
Location: Florida
Favorite Geiko: Mayuha and Kimika
Favorite Maiko: Fukusuzu
For anyone interested, here is the link to chapter two.

Critiques would be much appreciated :).

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Last edited by Fuyouhime on Mon May 11, 2009 1:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed May 06, 2009 2:34 am 
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Misedashi
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Hi Fuyou. I've read your novel's first chapter. Which would you prefer? Me disclosing the crits out on the forum? Or would you like me to PM them to you?


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PostPosted: Thu May 07, 2009 11:45 am 
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Minarai
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well Fuyou, I've read all of chapter one and most of chapter two. And I've got to tell you you're an amazing writer so much better than me! :D


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